Q: Oral sex used to be a big part of my sex life with previous partners, but now it is not. How do we start incorporating this after being together for so long?
A: Honestly speaking, the longer you wait for a change - the more difficult it will be to actually make that change happen. Especially in the sex life. Imagine, you have been doing it for so long without oral sex and now all over sudden you want oral stimulation too. Where have you been earlier when it all just started? I always advise to communicate with your partner on things that you like and don’t like as soon as the issue arises. Don’t be afraid of telling him about your desires. You are already dating him or maybe married to him and sharing with him you home/bed/life. Why sharing your thoughts and desires are so difficult then?
Of course, you can play games and try to insinuate your sexual desires but there is no guarantee that he will read your signals right. Or read them at all. Men are not really good at it. Best way is to openly speak to him and see what he has to say. If you never brought up this conversation with him before he might just think that you are fine with whatever he is doing in bed and you don’t desire anything else. This is why you must talk to him and explain why all over sudden you want oral sex since he might not be able to understand why for so long you didn’t want it, but now you want. Lots of work to do, but as I said earlier, the longer the wait - the more complicated it gets. So speak up now!