Q: I feel that life is so busy and there is no time left for sex. Even though I very much enjoy sex, I would not say that I have a high libido. Only when my partner is initiating sex I don’t mind to do it. How I can increase my sex drive?
A: According australian sex therapist Rosie King, you would be a “receptive” type - you are receptive to sex and willing to engage if your partner initiates. It could be multiple reasons why you have a low sex drive starting with low self-esteem (psychological) and finishing with hormonal imbalance (medical). If you continuously feel low desire I’d advise to do the hormones test first before moving any further. In case if the reason for low libido has a psychological nature, you might want to observe yourself and work on increasing your libido together with your partner.
How to increase libido on own?
Change the way you think of sex. For now I see that sex for you is something that isn’t important. You feel like you could be doing many other things instead of engaging in sexual activity. Think of sex as an act that brings you closer to your partner; helps you to relax and get away all the daily stress. During sex many vital hormones like dopamine oxytocin, endorphin are released. Enjoy sex as a gift that you and your partner can give to each other.
Communicate to your partner all your concerns especially the one that are causing low sex desire. Maybe he does or doesn’t do something in bed to keep you excited about getting intimate. You are the only one who can resolve this issue by telling him what you want, either it is a fantasy to act out or some particular movements/positions you enjoy the most. Remember, he is here for you and if he initiates sex with you that means you are desirable.
Do more things for yourself to make yourself feel sexy. Build a list of things/actions that makes you feel horny and put them into your routine. If you feel you gained extra pounds and don’t want your partner to see your naked, then don’t hide in the darkness. Go to the gym, join yoga club, go biking or do other activity that will help you to regain your confidence. The important factor here is to do it for yourself! You will love yourself more when you will see your sexy butt in the mirror after all that hard work you did eating healthy and exercising. It’s fun to take care of yourself.
Don’t have time for sex? Make it. Like you make times to do your nails, shopping, reading, chatting with girlfriends etc. Always remember, if you are in a relationship with person, it’s not anymore strictly about you. Sex is an act that shows to the other person that he is still desirable, valuable and very attractive. The global average time per sex session is 18.3 minutes. I’m sure, you can find in 24 hours 20 minutes to have sex with the person you love to maintain that bond that once you have built.
Not in the mood for sex? Again, remember, that the sexual power in the relationship comes from women. You are the only one who is responsible to keep yourself and your man in the mood. Use your creativity. Write the list of things that put you in the mood. Maybe it’s some fantasy, or episode from the movie or book; someone’s story. Burn candles all over the house, play romantic slow music, wear at home something sexy and tight ( like sportswear). You create your own mood and desire will follow.
Come up with new creative ideas how you can spice up your sex. Try Zoe & Alexandra Kits as powerful tool to start bringing new excitements into your sexual life.
Ditch bad habits. Smoking, illegal drugs and excess alcohol can all dampen your sex drive. Ditching these bad habits may help give your sex drive a boost and improve your overall health.
Making intimacy a priority can help put your sex drive back on track.