Q: Does good sex keep a man around for almost 4 years? Or is the convenience of going back to what is well known?
A: The great sex is a solid reason for many man to keep a woman around till he finds her a better replacement unless if he is committed to this woman. But usually, if a man doesn’t commit after 6 months since you started seeing him sexually, he won’t ever commit to you. It’s a rough truth that comes from men themselves. I had spoken to many of my male friends who had girls on the side just to have sex with her whenever he feels like just because it’s convenient for him. So you became like on of his favorite to-go places or bars to have a drink at. It’s convenient and always there. He might be sending to you the mixed signals in order to keep you around for so long. You are hoping that he might finally settle down with you and commit, but believe me, this will never happen. Because if he really wanted to be with and only you, he would made up his mind 4 years ago. My advice here, stop wasting your time with this man. Stop bathing in illusion that he loves you and this is why he keeps coming back. Honestly, you are nothing more but an option for him. Take a control of your own sexuality and the way how you express it. Leave him now while you still can do it otherwise he will leave you in the future with a broken heart and broken self-dignity. You are the one to make a choice.
I’d highly recommend you to read this amazing book by Jill P. Weber “ Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy: Why women settle down for one-sided relationship”.