Zoe & Alexandra Newsletter #3

The secret sex lives of porn stars, rules of edging, hidden meaning of emojis and how often Americans have sex.

How often is considered as "often"?

When it comes to sex, people tend to fudge the numbers. Penis size gets inflated, the number of lifetime partners is edited up or down, and how long a sex session lasts can be way exaggerated.

In a study of over 26,000 Americans, which was published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, participants reported having sex 54 times a year, which averages out to approximately once a week. While the frequency of sex is associated with happiness, partnered couples who have sex more than once a week are no happier than those having sex weekly, according to an analysis of three research studies of over 30,000 people.

Having sex once a week might be the ideal, according to science. But the real ideal is what works for you and your partner. If you're happy, then you're having the right amount of sex for you. If you're not, you can work on the problem through better communication, more experimentation in the bedroom, and/or couples or sex therapy.

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The secret sex lives of porn stars

In this very interesting article, Playboy magazine talks to porn industry icons about off-camera sex, dating and their challenges finding true love.

Dating in LA is tough. It’s a city of perfectly timing drinks to avoid rush hour traffic, wondering which profiles were made for dating or just to gain more Instagram followers, and navigating more ghosting than the next movie in the Conjuring franchise. But is it even tougher when most people (who’ll admit to it) have already seen you naked?

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What’s Edging, and what’s it for?

Edging (also called surfing, peaking, teasing, and more) is the practice of stopping yourself from reaching orgasm right when you’re on the cusp — the metaphorical “edge” right before you fall off the cliff into sexual climax.

This practice has grown trendy in sexual health discussions as a form of “better orgasms,” but it’s actually more than a half-century-old treatment for premature ejaculation. In a 1956 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, James H. Semans introduced the “stop-start method” to help people last longer before reaching orgasm.

Essentially, this means stopping sexual stimulation before you come, waiting about 30 seconds, and then stimulating yourself again, repeating until you’re ready to orgasm.

It sounds like a quick win for better sex, but edging is more like a marathon. You can’t race your way to lasting longer in bed or having a better orgasm, as some who practice this claim.

On a more holistic level, edging can make you more keenly aware of your own sexual responses both solo and with a partner, bringing mindfulness into the bedroom.

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Have you ever got an emoji and wasn't sure what exactly it means? To our own surprise, some emoji can carry multiple meanings depends on a context of messages.

These are the 11 emoji icons that perfectly sum up your sexiest thoughts—from "I like like you" to "I can't wait to tear your clothes off and get you in my bed again!"

Find out the hidden sexual meaning of some of the most common in use emojis.

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HOT GUY ANSWERS: Online Dating & Beyond

As a girl, do you ever want to ask a hot guys some questions but don't have access to them? Here they are!!!! We are bringing the hottest guys in NYC to you in these series of short interviews to not only answer your questions but also help us to better understand good looking men and their psychology.


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